What Do you Do when Those Who you Care for and Serve Cause you Pain?
- MBP Blogs
- 13 hours ago
- 4 min read
Excerpt from a video of Maitreya Dadashreeji
Maitreya Dadashreeji:
Namaste,
Welcome to the transformation session. Today we will look at an interesting question. We are going to talk about a situation which all of you must have faced at least once in your life. The impact of this experience remains with you throughout your life, even into old age. What situation are we referring to? Let’s look at the question.
Sushma Sharmaji:
“Dadashreeji, sometimes we guide or help someone selflessly and that person progresses, achieves recognition, confidence, and prosperity, but this person harbors ill will towards us. They carry hate and negativity towards us. Sometimes they criticize us and say negative things about us to others. What should we do when someone hurts us in this manner? We are hurt by the own people we raised. What should we do? How do we handle and reduce this pain?"
Maitreya Dadashreeji:
You may have faced a situation or know of someone who has faced this kind of betrayal. Here a person who you cared for, loved unconditionally, cause you so much grief and pain. Today’s answer will help you get clarity about your own life or you will be able to help someone facing this situation. Please keep in mind that the journey of transformation, although it may be internal, it also manifests externally.You will see changes in your own life over time. You will view the same situation in a different way as you transform. As you were saying, you helped someone selflessly and that led to hurt and pain. When you help someone, do not have any expectations from them. Parents take care of their children selflessly hoping they succeed in life. When that does not happen then the parents feel angry. When you have selflessly helped someone and that person carries feelings of resentment towards you, we need to learn to let it go. You did your part selflessly, now you need to let things be and move on. Don’t hold on to the thought that you’ve done good for someone. Similarly, if you’ve made mistakes, learn from your mistakes and move on.
What do you need to do now? You’ve done something for someone, they harbored ill will towards you and you feel hurt. The first thing that you need to do is to accept the fact that you are feeling disappointed and sad because of the other person’s bad conduct. Let us focus on what you can do.
You can inspire others to transform but don’t have any expectation that others will change. You only have control over how you can change. For that, you first need to admit to yourself that you are sad. Secondly, you need to forgive the person who has caused you pain. We admit it is not easy to forgive, but if we truly want to make progress then effort has to be made. After having tried this, you can also look at the situation as a result of karma. It is that person’s karma that is making them behave in this way.
Parents have a duty and a right over their children until they are about 16 years old. At the age of 16, a child becomes self- aware and wants to live the way they feel is right. What do we learn from this? You have done your duty to the best of your ability. You can be careful about not making mistakes. Help others whenever possible and move on.
Keep one more thing in mind. After having helped others, try and focus on yourself. Focus on your own transformation. Do not stop your journey towards that One Truth because of anyone else. Have a purpose in life. Be clear about your purpose. Hold on to that and move forward. Don’t focus on the behavior of others around you.
You have a lot of inner strength that is dormant within you. You are not able to recognize your inner strength because all your focus and energy is absorbed by people and situations that have gone wrong. We say, that for a brief moment suspend those thoughts and feelings. Focus on your internal journey instead. Tell yourself that you want to grow and move on!
When you realize and know that the other person (who has hurt you) will not change or improve learn to let go. They create a block and hamper your internal growth. You have every right to correct the person’s wrong behavior, even punish them, and teach them. Just be mindful of your growth. Do not let anyone affect your internal journey. Sometimes we need to let people go and move on. Your internal journey will carry you a long way. Focus on yourself, your internal world, and connect with your inner self. Give it time and move on. Think about what we have talked about today. Try and apply it to your life. If you have any doubts please ask again. We will see you soon.
Full video highlight available here🔗
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